I am sitting here, trying to focus on my last round of edits for Natural Urges (Book #2 for the Foxworth Coven), which will be coming out by Solstice Publishing in the next few weeks.
I'm finding it so hard to concentrate. I need sleep, coffee and motivation, in equal doses. I love this book--as I do all of them, or I wouldn't have written them, and certainly wouldn't have submitted them to publishers in the first place. But the last edit is always the hardest for me. By this stage, many author have read their book so many times, they can recite it backward, in their sleep.
Not only that, it can be frustrating, because this is the last time an author gets to see it before publication. Nerve-wracking to the extreme doesn't even come close to what I feel today. I want to rush, get it over with, "rip it off like a band-aid." But, I can't. I need to go through it, make sure there isn't any last minute changes that need to be made.
And now, the questions begin.
The worst part has to be that I start to doubt myself, and my book. Is this sentence is as it should be? Should I change it--and risk the flow sounding worse than I THINK it does now (because I liked it just fine during the first-round edits with my editor)? If I do change it, what if I put an error into I won't catch before it leaves my hands? Would my character actually say this? Will the reader even like this story? Is this scene believable--what was I thinking?!
When I set out to write a book, prior to submission of the product, I think none of these things. After publication, and I can say I AM DONE, I forget I'd ever had this turmoil and doubts.
This will be my eleventh published story--and no, it doesn't get any easier. Which begs the question; will it ever?
No, it won't. Not as long as I actually care--it's when I stop caring that I have to worry about whether or not I should be writing any longer. Like all artists who wish to perfect their craft, to become better, and honestly stress about the reaction to their product, this is a common phase to go through. This industry is not an easy one, just like music, television, movies or any other entertainment field.
Now that I think about it, I go through the exact same thing with my graphic art projects and cover art.